The picture of cuteness is a young child romping and splashing in the bathtub–little straining arms churning the otherwise placid tub water into a surge of micro-tsunamis threatening to upturn a small population of rubber duckies and toy boats, as violent thunderclaps are replaced by gleeful laughter. We have all witnessed this waterborne display of wholesome fun one time or another and, man is it the picture of sweetness. So I regret spoiling the fun with the rather grim news that, according to NYU microbiologist Dr. Phillip M. Tierno (the ultimate bathtub party pooper), your bathtub bound children are likely cavorting in a “bacterial soup.”

Dr. Tierno has a long record of crying foul and exposing all manner of germs and pathogens that thrive on household items like pillows and kitchen counters. He is the author of “The Secret Life of Germs: What They Are, Why We Need Them, and How We Can Protect Ourselves Against Them,” and, while an esteemed microbiologist, seemingly loves uncovering the dank and germy underbelly of our daily life. However, I will give him the benefit of the doubt about his recent Today show appearance where he warned that bathtubs, with all of their plastic toys and soggy playthings harbor fecal contaminants, such as E. coli and streptococcus, as well as staph aureus and other germs and viruses. These sorts of bacteria and pathogens seem to thrive in the warm and moist bathtub environment, and since they rarely dry out completely, they become breeding grounds for unseen and unchecked bacteria. “It’s filth,” Dr. Tierno claimed on Today, “The toys are the depository of these organisms.” Children pick up squeeze toys (rubber ducks and hollow toys are particularly lively breeding grounds for molds and bacteria) and squirt contaminated water into the tub, at themselves, or sometimes at their unwitting parents, making for a very unclean experience all around.

by Eric Steinman

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